Hope and a Second Chance

Hope.

And a second chance.

That's all we need to give ourselves.

For if we have those two things, we pretty much have the world. Hope gives you dreams, aspirations, and a sense that you may just be able to achieve them. And a second chance, well, it gives you a second chance at that dream if you make a mistake somewhere along the way.

Imagine this: a life without hope and a second chance. A life without the option of making a mistakes – many mistakes – and saying sorry, learning from your mistakes and moving on. Even The God's make mistakes. Prime example- Shiva granting Bhasmasur his boon and then running to save his own life. He never gave up on himself (Shiv-jee, not Bhasmasur. Bhasmasur died)as a failed God. Then who are we, mere mortals, to give up on ourselves? To deny us that second chance?

It needn't be pointed out here that a mistake is an action committed, unmindful of its consequences. A deliberate action, which causes a certain expected reaction can't be classified as a mistake. A bike accident on a slippery road is a mistake; a drunk driver is not.

So we were awful once upon a time. We were mean to someone. We did something that we now realize we shouldn't have.

It's okay.

Don't murder yourself for it. (Literally; and figuratively!)

The realization that it was a mistake, that it is never to be done again, that it hurt someone and is hence bad, the repentance for that mistake are all punishments enough. The human mind is a fickle one. Specially one that has a guilty conscience. It eats away at the happiness slowly, leaving behind an empty frame of flesh and bones. Don't let that happen to you. The world is harsh enough on us, we need not help it by being harsh upon ourselves too.

I'm not saying that we should be arrogant and do whatever we feel like, and then say – oops, sorry! What I'm saying is that when you realize that you have committed a mistake, forgive yourself. For if you don't forgive yourself, how will the world? Understand and face the consequence of the mistake, for every mistake has a consequence. Learn from it, vow never to do it again, but also give yourself a second chance. Hope. Dare. Dream. Again. A new start, a fresh beginning. It's never too late until your dead. And you are not. So live. Again. Breathe. Deeply. Forgive yourself, and move on.

The more excess baggage we carry, the more burdensome life becomes for us. Life already has a 100 burdens thrown on us, don't add to that. Liberate yourself of all that you possibly can, and grab that chance, that second chance, at happiness.

As I said to AJ, As with Mutual Funds, so with life: Past performance is no guarantee for future performance…

Until next time…

Aal Izz Well… All Over Again.

The first time I read this, I was in school and it was put up on the notice board. I still remember getting goose bumps after reading it that day. Thereafter I have read it on and off, but every time I read it, it hits me. It makes me want to ruffle up my feathers, draw my chest out, and sound the war cry.

Bring it on.

I'm not going to quit.

I'm putting it up here for a friend who is going through a tough time, one who loves poetry.

Don't Quit.

When things go wrong, as they sometimes will,
When the road you're trudging seems all uphill,
When funds are low, and debts are high,
And you want to smile, but have to sigh,
When care is pressing you down a bit,
Rest if you must, but don't you quit.

Life is queer with its twists and turns,
As everyone of us sometimes learns,
And many a failure turns about,
When he might have won had he stuck it out;
Don't give up though the pace seems slow,
You may succeed with another blow.

Success is failure turned inside out,
The silver tint of the clouds of doubt,
And you never can tell how close you are,
It may be near when it seems so far;
So stick to the fight when you're hardest hit,
It's when thins seems worse, that you must not quit.

I read it every day now, and it helps me.

If nothing, it helps me feel better.

Hope it does something for you too.

Until next time…

Once Again

All I need is a hug.

A big, warm, long, bear hug.

One that says, don't worry: all is well.

One that gives me a sense of security in this uncertain world.

One, that makes me feel. If only for those 2 minutes, that there is no problem that can't be solved.

Give me some sunshine…
Give me some rain…
Give me another chance,
I want to grow up once again…

That apart, 3 Idiots: a must watch.

Not only for all engineering students, but for all human beings.

Until next time…

Happy Birthday

So much to say, but the words don't flow;
A whole journey to complete, but nowhere to go;
Look at this irony called life, Little joys in exchange for so much strife;
Shattered dreams like broken glass, no flowers; just an empty vase;
When will the clouds part, when will the sun shine;
When will that elusive happiness be mine.

Happy Birthday to me.

Until next time…

Wish List

My birthday is coming up, yes, again, and for all those who want to give me something, for once I'll make your life simple. You need not rack your brains like every other year to think of what to give me.

Here's my wish list.

1. 5 new, good SRK releases this year
   
2. Annihilation of all cheaters in the world, specially like the ones who con gullible young women like me
   
3. My own train on the Western Railway that doesn't leave till I board it
   
4. Books that have Titles like "How to lose 20 kgs in 2 months, & Stay That Way" or "How to get your dream job & retain it" or even better, "how to travel everyday to andheri from South bombay in 1 piece & reach office on time"
   
5. The brand new pair of spectacles that I lost within 3 days of getting them (pink; pretty; bold)
   
6. More breakfasts at Leopold's with same / similar company
   
7. A portfolio that's in the Green
   
8. Age Reversal Medicines for my parents
   

Well, doesn't that make life simple for you? Just take your pick and make me happy!

Until next time…

On Demand

Damn.

I can't write on demand.

Been wanting to write since when, but nothing happens inside of me that I can translate into words.

I hate this dependence.

How the hell will I ever write a complete book!

Until next time…

Shit Happens

So I'm having a really bad day. I'm all tired and exhausted after work, and am ready to collapse after I trudge along for 25 minutes to the station with two, mind you – two, very heavy bags. I reach platform 5 for my regular 7.04 Churchgate Fast. I wait for about 2 minutes and when it's 7.03 and the lady sitting on the roof decides that now is a good time to announce that "platform krmank paanch pe aani waali local churchgate ke liye tej local hai. Ye local aaj platform paanch ke badle platform teen pe ayegi. Yatriyon ko hone wali asuvidha ke liye khed hai."

Right.

So I start running again, with two, mind you- two, very heavy bags to get to platform three, along with half of the city's population jostling to get there before me. A sidestep here – if you've ever travelled by the local trains of Bombay you would have noticed that the regular travelers stand at pre-decided places, everyday, and jump onto the train as it pulls in and before it completely halts. That's the reason they were jostling to get there as the train in question was already pulling into the platform. Anyways. Back to my story. I didn't bother jostling. Well, I couldn't. I just ran as if my backside was on fire and got to the platform just as the train halted.

One tiny detail that the lady sitting on the roof forgot to mention was that the Ladies First Class does not come at the same place on Platform Three as it does on Platform Five. I realized this belatedly as the train halted. I had two options: I could either get into the Non-Ladies First Class (I don't know what else to call it – General First Class? Gent's Firs Class? Whatever) or I could trudge back to Platform Five and wait 10 minutes for another train and get into the Ladies First Class.

No points for guessing what I did – any pea-brain could make that decision.

So I got into the General/Non-Ladies/Gent's/Whatever First Class and was lucky enough to get a seat (non-window, which I would have got for sure in the Ladies First Class and which was the main reason I wanted to travel in that compartment. I mean it's not as if men bite or something – Well, not all). Exhausted I wished that the fast train which thought it was a slow train but was actually moving at the speed of a bullock-cart would soon get the epiphany that it was actually a fast train and move at speeds suitable to that of a fast train. Somehow the train's wavelength and my wavelength didn't really match, and it crawled across Bombay.

And then I saw a friend.

An old, very good, long lost, I'm too busy with my work to meet you friend.

Catching up with friends is always refreshing, and what made it even more refreshing for me was that one, I wanted to catch up with this particular person since a very long time, and two, the updates that he gave me about his life.

He made me forget my horrible day, made me smile for a long time after we parted, and even carried one of my heavy bags! (Like a true friend, I must say)

Shit happens. And sometimes good shit happens. And well, as rightly said, it ought to be good if it's after 25 years of constipation!

So touch wood. And may the shit keep happening. : )

Until next time…

Will

There is no will.

To do anything.

No will to talk.

No will to smile.

No will to blink.

No will to even to get up and eat something.

I blink and breathe because it's an automated process, I have to do nothing, it happens on its own.

I just sit and stare in space.

Blink.

Breathe.

And wonder.

What the hell am I doing in office on a Saturday!

Until next time…

Clipped

The wings have been clipped, the freedom has been curbed.

The bird has been caged, not a sound anyone heard.

All that remains as evidence of something that-once-was,

Is a free-falling feather, slowly flittering across.

It falls on the ground, gets soaked in the wet mud.

The epitome of the biggest breakage, and not even a thud.

A freedom lost, a spirit broken, a heart that's down in despair.

The world goes on, and so does life, for no one seems to care.

Until next time…

P.S. I Love You

So I finally saw it.

I remember seeing the book at a bookstore years ago.

I remember wanting to read it, but never picking it up ever and actually reading it.

I remember seeing the promos of the movie when it released a few years later.

I remember wanting to watch it, but never buying tickets and actually watching it.

Because I have a death-phobia thingi.

What happens when someone dies? When that someone was your entire life. How do you move on? As Holly said, how do you breathe?

What do you when u lose the only thing that mattered in your life? The one that changed life as you knew it. The one who was irreplaceable.

The entire idea of someone dying on me freaks me out.

How, I mean how can life just go on?

News flash: it does.

Whether you like it or not, whether you want it to or not.

Someone told me that death is actually the destination that we're to get to after the journey called life. It is not the end, it is a beginning. Of another journey.

That's all fine when you're the person who died. But what if you're the one who's someone died. The one who got left behind? The one who still looks out for someone when she smells a certain food? The one those whose eyes moisten when she hears a certain song? The one who just can't breathe without a certain someone? The one who is left behind.

Alone.

There are a lot of people who lose someone in the blink of an eye. There are a lot of people who lost someone while you were reading this. Someone somewhere loses someone every second. There are a lot of people who are alone.

This is for all of them.

"The thing to remember is: If we're all alone, then we're together in that too." - Patricia in P.S. I Love You.

Until next time…

Dated

Just wanted to stamp today's peculiar-never-to-be-repeated-in-a-century date somewhere.

Thought of waiting till 09.09.09 P.M. but it just wasn't worth the wait.

Anyways September is here.

Black Month.

Lets see what it brings this year.

Until next time…

Abyss

You walk along the path of life and it feels like it's an abyss.

Deep.

Dark.

Unending.

And you never know what will come up next, what will happen next or what the outcome will be.

You just walk along, trot along or run along depending on how much you can manage. All you have to guide you in this abyss is your faith. Not because faith makes you strong and all that. But because it's all you've got: you have no other option.

It's like holding a rope - one you can't see, but feel - and walking in a dark, deep, unending cave. You walk / trot/ run with its help. There comes a rock, suddenly, and you slip. You arms flail, trying to use the rope to help you maintain your balance, help you to not fall. But you fall anyways, and end up letting go of the rope. You get up, dust your clothes and curse the rope: what frigging good was it anyways. You walk on for some time without the rope disgruntled with the entire idea of its being, but sooner or later, sometime eventually you flap your arms about in the dark to look for it. You search frantically till you can finally feel it again and then you resume your walk, holding onto it tightly.

For something is better than nothing, right?

Until next time…

They

They say you should let life take its course, not worry too much, and relax for what has to happen will happen. And everything happens for the good.

They have had a very easy life, I'd say.

How can you just let it be? There are certain issues that nag you all the time: why did this happen? Or what will happen now? Etc and these issues consume your mind your energy your existence with a fervor so great you are pretty much incapable of doing or even thinking something else. How, then, are you supposed to just lay back and let whatever is happening, happen. How, then, can u just leave it up to God & Destiny & Fate?

Do They also not say that God helps those who help themselves?

Should we not then do something, anything that we can do to make sure that events turn out in our favor? Should we not then revisit events that happened, wonder why certain things happened and be better prepared for a next time if such a situation were to arise? Should we not learn from our mistakes? Should we not make sure that we try our best not to commit mistakes? There is a God, there is Fate and there is Destiny. But is that all that is there? Do we have no power over the outcome of our life? Is everything to the tiniest detail planned and plotted by God, Fate & Destiny?

They are conspicuously quiet now.

Until next time…

TableTop & FATAK!

There is this guy that some of us have abhorrently named "TableTop"

It's best his actual identity and the reason for the name remain, well, hidden from public domain.

But the reason we gave him that name abhorrently, is because we ALL abhor him.

He's like this irritating buzzing noise that you can hear if you have a really bad TV set – one that try as hard as you may to ignore, it is so persistent that you just can't.

So he was there somewhere in the background and I wanted to drown out his abhorring voice so I put on the music and listen to the soundtrack of Kaminey (which BTW is another nice way of describing him – Kamina) and was listening to this nice number called fatak and there was that para which was so apt for TableTop!

A little backgrounder before the aforementioned para here: he has absolutely no work in life, he will never do his own work, he is always finding people to pakao & offload his work to etc, he walks around talking on his handsfree set (meant for cars???) smack in the middle of office, he talks really loudly, when he talks (to people) people scatter far away from him faster than pollen on a windy day (including the ones he was trying to talk to), since he has no work he always roaming the streets (so to say!) and bugging people who have genuine work in life, he self invites himself when a bunch is heading out for lunch, he doesn't get the hint when he Is purposely left behind!, he self invites himself to official events, his highlight of attending official events is the "imported beer" served there "for free yaar!!!!" , oh and since u must have figured out by now (even though I was trying to be professional and not mention it) that he is from my workplace I might as well mention he belongs to he senior management cadre.

Imagine.

The much amusing para:

"ginti na karna iski yaaron mei…
awara ghoomein galiyaron mein…
ye chipkoo hamesha satayega…
yeh jayega aur fir laut ayega!"

FATAK!!

Until next time…

The Mango People

Yes, I know its clichéd and everybody and their aunt who has watched Love Aaj Kal loves it, including me.

But this post is about them, The Mango People, the aam junta.

Quirky behavior that only an aam aadmii can get away with.

Like wearing masks(or handkerchiefs daaku style, for the lack of masks) to protect themselves from the so called pandemic outbreak of swine flu. And looking paranoid, shit-scared, and funny all at the same time.

Like carrying a bottle of nilgiri oil to office and making the entire office smell like a hill station fresh out of a Yash Chopra (the old original ones, not the the new ones that just carry the YashRaj tag) movies. And tearing the head of the poor person who has a genuine cold (and nothing else) for coming to office and putting everyone else in "danger".

Like tapping the person standing at the door of a local and ask – "are you going to get off at the next station?"
(And why else would I be standing at the door otherwise???)

Like being practical, and then regretting it.

Like just posting crap like this and getting away with it!

Until next time…

Rains and a Cough

So it's been raining. Sporadically. Its sunny one moment, & pouring the next. And this sporadicity (it's not a word, but I made it up coz it perfectly explains the point I'm tryin to make) has been continuous, pun intended. On Sunday I went with kiki for a bike ride, assuming a nice warm sunny morning was perfect for it. And on the way back, got caught in this –did I mention, sporadic- rainfall. More like bucket-fall of water. But whatever. Have been coughing since, shivering a bit at night, and still feeling hot when I wear my windcheater and walk in the rain. (Which by the way is a necessity, as you don't get a rick from andheri station to chakala, and I do have to get to work right?)

The cough has intensified into a relapse of the stomach infection I had last week (if ur thinking how, join the club) and I now currently am battling 2 infections with one very weak immunity system. Not to forget that my sinus usually acts up in the rain and is waiting for like the one more time that I get drenched (which is inevitable, as I have to not only walk to office from the station but also walk back from the office to the station in the evenings, each trip taking 25 minutes on an average; and I can't possibly be that optimistic to think that it will never rain at any of these 2 times on all the days left of the monsoon season) post which it too will unveil its ugly face.

It's good in a way. All the coughing has hurt my vocal cords and I now sound like a frog. Gives them poor lonely souls on the road some company.

Croak Croak

Until next time…

Kaisa khuda hai tu…

Manga jo mera hai,

Jaataa kya tera hai,

Maine kaunsi tujhse jannat mang li.

Kaisa khuda hai tu,

Bas naam ka hai tu,

Rabba jo teri itni si bhi na chali.

Chahiye jo mujhe karde tu mujko adaa.

Jeeti rahe sultanat teri,

Jeeti rahe aashiqui meri,

Dede mujhe zindagi meri, tenu dil da vaasta…

Until next time…

Tenu Dil Da Vaastaa

Baksha gunahon ko,

Sunke duaon ko,

Rabba pyaar hai tune sabko hi de diya.

Meri bhi aahon ko,

Sun le duaon ko,

Mujhko woh dila maine jisko hai dil diya.

Aas woh,

Pyas woh,

Usko de itna bata.

Who jo mujhe dekhke hase,

Panaa chahoon raat din jise,

Rabba mere naam kar use, tenu dil da vaastaa…

Until next time…

Affected

An incident occurs in your life, and you get affected. You face it, what other choice do you have. So you face it, live with it, deal with it, accept it. You live through it, bear the brunt, face the side effects, and let it affect you. And then you think it over. You feel a joy at having survived it. You feel strong.

But it's a false alarm. That one incident can and will affect you for the rest of your life. It will come back to haunt you again and again, making you weaker at every instance, till it eventually breaks you down. It will make it a point to affect all the important issues/people in your life, obviously in a negative manner, and be at it regularly till you don't give up and bow down.

Till you don't break. Till you don't shatter.

Is this even legal? How many times is one incident allowed to affect your life? Is there no law protecting us against the atrocities of such incidents? Are people not allowed second chances anymore? How much does one thing you did in the past matter so much in your future? Isn't the past supposed to belong in the past, and the future be a new beginning?

Apparently not.

Until next time…

Parents

Parents. The ones who raise us from tiny babies into full grown adults. The ones who feed us when we can't feed ourselves, the ones who fend for us when we are barely able to open our eyes.

Parents.

But then, we grow up. We have a mind of our own, choices of our own, decisions of our own, in short: a life of our own. And they have a plan of their own.

What we should eat, what we shouldn't eat, what we should study, what we shouldn't study, how we should study, how we shouldn't study, who we should be friends with, who we shouldn't associate with, who we should marry and who we shouldn't marry.

No matter, that it is our life that is in discussion here. What matters is their approval. I agree that they have our best interest at heart, but somewhere I feel that it is tainted with a bit of selfishness. "what will people think…" or "how could my child do this?"

How far should a parent control a child's life? Especially after the child has reached a certain age (25 good enough?) and is mature enough to make his/her own decisions. This is a debate that has raged on for ages, and is of more relevance in a country like India, where the culture doesn't permit a child to go too astray from the parent's aspiration. There are advocates on both sides. I'm not saying that a child should rebel all out and do what he pleases. But I'm also saying that some decisions should be left to children, especially after they reach a certain age.

I've been a victim of this parent-pressure many a times. Sometimes it's been my parents sometimes it's been someone else's parents. Either ways, it's my life, my mental peace, my happiness that gets affected in the end. When will they realize that?

Until next time…