There is this guy at my current workplace, the place where I’m doing my summer internship, whose name is Cyrus.
He too is doing his summer internship there.
Most (actually all) other summer interns here (no one else talks to him, not even his Guide. He just gets handed a new book to read every time he goes into The Guide’s cabin.) call him Complaint Box, and there is not one minute when he is quiet. He is continuously talking about something and everything and nothing.
Most people avoid him, and he, in return, persistently tries to make friends with everyone.
He’s got a decent look about him, having been a Gladrags model and all, looking twenty-one but going on twenty-seven, and has an opinion about everything on the face of the earth.
He also, does not hesitate in letting anyone with anything that resemble ears, know what his opinion on anything on the face of the earth is.
Most (actually all) his opinions, as you must have understood by now, are of the cribbing variety
He thinks that the suburbs (Bandra, to be precise) is the right place for his dream home (Carter Road to be even more precise, I mean if he can then why cant I. Be precise that is.), and Head of Treasury at any company that has an office in BKC is his dream job. (This you learn within 5 minutes of meeting him. Actually make that 2.)
If he wants to go home, he pesters you to pretend to be sick and leave, so that he can pretend to be chivalrous, and pretend to drop you home. (Within 1 day)
He does not like the taste of the food at the office canteen, or the sandwichwala down, or the dosawala down, or the udipi nearby (which happens to be Kamat, The Kamat, world famous in Bombay for its finger licking food) or even the bananawala (who sells bananas. Normal bananas.)
He thinks (loudly) that running for the shelter, when it is raining, is stupid, as “after all, it’s just water, not acid or something,”
He thinks that just because he thinks that running for shelter when it rains is stupid, so should you.
He thinks a lot of other things, but I’d have to be him to mention them all here.
If you have a lot of patience, you might even like him.
But it’s very difficult to be like him.
You have to be the most obstinate, ignorant, opinionated, arrogant, persistent, and talkative (lets not forget that!) person in the whole wide world, who does not have anything remotely similar to taste buds.
That’s all it takes for Being Cyrus.
Until next time…
