"I Dont Know Why I Exist, Actually..."

25 years of my life done.
More than one-fourth my life lived.
Not much to show off, except an amazing amount of wonderful memories: most happy; some sad.
There comes in a point in life when you wonder: "I dont know Why i exist, actually..."
for my proffessor it came when he was in class teaching us a couple of weeks ago.
For me, it came today.
So.
why do i exist?
what is my life purpose?
what have i done till now?
what am supposed to do in the future?
will i be able to do all that i'm supposed to?

so many questions - and no answers yet. 25 years of life done and no answers yet.
not that i was looking for them or something.
but now, i guess that i am looking for them, they will be even more difficult to find.
but these 25 years were, if nothing, fast; fun and memorable.
all i can hope for is that the next 25 are the same, if not better.

happy birthday, babe.

until next time...

Strength

strength is what lies within you,
it comes out with situations, old or new.
"i'm not strong enough to take this..." in vain you moan,
for that decision is HIS and HIS alone.

until next time...

DдsVIDдйIYд

The best goodbye ever.

Very few people are lucky (or are they?) enough to know that they are going to die – and that they should now live life as they always wanted to. Now Death and I, we've never really gotten along. I have major issues with dying. Not as much as me dying, as my near n dear ones. But this movie got me thinking – what would be my 10 things to do before I die? Because, issues or no issues, I have to die one day, right? The sooner I accept it, the better it is for the people around me (kiki, for example- who thinks I have gone mad because all I can think of nowadays is this and wishes real bad that I'd stop bugging her with questions regarding it). Have you ever thought about it? If suddenly you were told that you had say two-maybe-three odd months to live and then – puff! It was over. Your chance at life had come and gone. In that situation, what would you do? What are the things that you absolutely must do before you die? For we live only once, right?

You know, my SRK said –

"hason, jiyo, muskaraon… kya pata kal ho na ho… "

As much as it pains me to point out that he was wrong, I still do. Because I know, kal nahin hai. There is always a tomorrow, one that never comes. So instead of laughing, smiling and in general being merry today because I don't know if there will be a tomorrow, I think that we should smile, laugh and in general be merry today because we know that there never will be a tomorrow. Every day we have a today, and that is what we should live. Each day, for its own. As for me, I'm alive today, my near n dear ones are alive today and that's all that should matter to me. Instead of wasting today, moping about what may happen tomorrow I have to learn to enjoy today. I have to get over my fear so that I can enjoy whatever precious few (according to me) moments I have been allotted.

As for my 10-things-to-do-before-dying list? Well, I'm seriously thinking about it. Its work-i-progress. I will make a list, and maybe even out it up here.

Maybe you should think about it too.

Until next time…