How.

People think I crib too much, worry too much, complain too much.

How do I explain to them that I used to be a carefree, cheerful, not-a-worry-in-the-world girl who saw the world with rose-tinted glasses.

How do I make them understand that when I was like that, I had to become like this when the world was pulled out from under my feet; when the rose-tinted glasses shattered into a million pieces.

How do I explain to them why I am what I am, how I became what I am.

How do I make them realize that this is not what I wanted to be, ever.

How do I make see that this is a defense mechanism that I have built over the years to prevent getting any more unpleasant surprises.

How do I convince them that if you anticipate the worst and then getting something that’s not so bad, you are actually protecting yourself from the hurt of getting the worst.

How do I convey that if you have been hurt so badly, that you almost shattered, and you are still putting the pieces together, then one more tiny issue also feels like all that you put together is all going to fall apart all over again.

I don’t.

I can’t.

They won’t understand.

They can’t.

Until next time…

Momentous

Momentous events have taken place since the last time I blogged. I have got another job, I have moved out of home, I have enjoyed living out of home, I have cried bcause I’m living out of home.

Today, now, I miss home.

Badly.

Until next time…