The Gujrati Family

Disclaimer: The views presented below are solely of the author and are in no way meant to hurt anyone intentionally. Read at your own will, and take nothing to heart. The author would also like to mention that she has a lot of close friends who are Gujratis and are awesome people, irrespective of the fact that they are Gujratis.




The Gujrati Family is a pack of the can-never-be-extinct genus Gujratis, also called as Gujjus. These creatures are members of HomoSapiens, the family of Homos (of the happy and gay variety) and Sapiens (close relatives of modern-day people.) They often (almost always) make a loud continuous chattering noise and, in some higher-strata species are equipped with the latest cellphone, a fake designer bag, an almost-as-good-as-the-original duplicate Rado/ Omega/Tissot each. They have been in existence from around 4.8 million to 4,500 years ago, ever since Speech as a form of communication was discovered. The word Gujrati comes from the region Gujrat, India, where this species is found in even larger numbers. They are usually always found in large numbers everywhere anyways. The Gujrati Family moves in packs of 10 Gujjus or more, and in multiples of 10 thereafter. If the pack size is less than 10, they are looked down upon by the other packs, and are commonly referred to as just Gujratis. They display clannish behavior by taking a keen interest even in the daily affairs of family that is up to three levels away in the family tree. The Gujrati Family has a very distinct structure and every member’s role in the pack is predefined. The pack is headed by the eldest living male, and each pack extends to at least four generations at a time. The males are the bread-winners of the pack, and (almost) all earn their living and lifestyle with the help of two major bourses namely, N.S.E and B.S.E. The females are the house makers and keepers, child bearers and child raisers. All women in The Gujrati Family in their spare time collect together to give / get update on all family members at least three levels away in the family tree and / or discuss jewellery. This is done on a regular (read: at least three times a day) basis.

It is very easy to identify The Gujrati Family mainly due to the loud constant chattering that goes on within the pack. Once The Gujrati Family has entered a restaurant, an aircraft, or even a train it is very difficult to hear anyone or anything else (yes, even the plane's engine noise is drowned out.) This constant chattering comes from their urge to communicate on a real time basis, and since they are very soft at heart, each member wants every other member of the pack on anything that it has just discoverd. They don;t like to be left out of any peice of information is shared between any two random people, however uselsess it may be to them. Like, if one member finds out there is Frooti available at the airport cafeteria, the entire pack will know either by being within hearing distance of the member who made the discovery, or by asking the most preferred question of the clan - WHAT. The Gujrati Family are highly emotional in nature and feel for even television characters and can take to crying at the drop of a hat (especially the females).

The next time you come across this species be sure to observe them, as it can be highly entertaining!

Until next time...